2 days off!!!!

Our family had something rare happen this week. Last night we didn't have to be anywhere! Same thing tonight. It's so nice not having to run the kids to an activity. I was venting Sunday night to Craig about how many things we have to go to as members of the church. Our kids don't even have that many extra curricular activities, so it's not like we can cut back on any of those. We spend more time going to church things than anything else. So my question is, do we go to all things church related even though it takes time away from our family? Do we choose only a few things to go to? Which ones? Is this how the church is meant to be? Should callings feel like they are part time jobs? Sunday does not feel like a day of rest for me lately. Craig and I were saying how we didn't feel this worn out in Utah or Idaho. Is it because there's fewer members here to help carry the load? I know that every ward has certain families that do all the big callings, but in Utah or Idaho there were more families. It feels like the same families get shuffled around and always get the big callings. Does anybody else feel worn out by callings? So anyway, it was nice to be home last night and it will be nice to be home again tonight. Especially since the weekend will be busy.

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That's all for now.

25 years ago...

25 years ago I lost my mom. 25 years ago I was living in Mexico City. I had just had my 9th birthday. I think I got a pair of shoes for my birthday. On September 19 I remember we were home with my dad. It was morning. My mom had gone to work as a cleaning lady for a building within walking distance from our home. I remember the house started shaking. I didn't know what was going on. I sat on a bed that was in the front room. The shaking just kept coming and getting stronger. I remember looking at the picture of the last supper hanging above me swinging back and forth, back and forth. After what seemed like minutes, the shaking stopped. My dad ran out to my mom's building, leaving my 3 sisters and me home. I don't know how long he was gone. When he came back I remember looking down at his feet. He had left so fast that he still had his slippers on. Brown ones. They were covered in dust. I remember I started wiping away the dust. I don't think in that moment I knew what the dust meant. But the more I have thought about it over the years, I think deep down I knew what had happened. The building my mom was working in had collapsed. My dad didn't tell us anything. Just said we were going to stay with some friends of his. Later we would find out that he was staying behind to help look for my mom in the rubble. I remember staying with family friends and family for a long time. I remember the aftershocks. So many, strong aftershocks. My dad would come visit but wouldn't say anything about our mom. I would hear things in converstaions that finally let me know that my mom had been trapped in the building and my dad was looking for her. I had even heard that some people that had been trapped had survived by eating rats that had smelled decomposing bodies. I don't know if that's true or not. Months passed. Then my dad finally came to visit and told us our mom had not been found. I remember him crying. I didn't cry then. I don't think I fully understood. I didn't understand that my mom had now left 4 daughters without a mom. That my dad had lost his wife. I didn't understand that she wasn't going to be around when I got married or had kids of my own. I cried at her funeral. But the realization of how her loss would impact me still hadn't hit me. How could it at 9 years old? I look at Audry who is only a year older than I was when I lost my mom and I don't know if she would understand what losing a mom really means. I know Audry and Lauren need me. I know little girls need their moms to do their hair. To paint their nails. To buy them their first bra. But big girls need their mom so much more I think. I have needed my mom so much and it has been harder every year since she's been gone. I miss her now more than ever. She wasn't here for my wedding. For my kids. For me to talk to. I only had her for 9 short years. It just doesn't seem fair. I envy friends that still have their moms around. Especially those that have a good relationship with their moms. That talk to them about everything. I try so hard to remember her, but there are so few memories. I pray that I will have a dream about her, but that has yet to happen. I do have something to look forward to though. Since her temple work (and my dad's) has been done, I know I will see her again. What a great day that will be.

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This post is for my sisters and me in memory of our mom. We love you and I think you would be proud of us.

9/11

I know I'm a few days past 9/11 but I still wanted to share what I remember.

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We were living in Idaho at the time. My friend was dropping off her son and asked where in NY my brother lived. I thought it was kind of a random question. Then she told me what had happened. I turned the tv on and watched. I was stunned. All 4 planes had already crashed so I watched trying to figure out what was going on. I'm sure everyone was trying to make sense of it all. I finally called my mom to see if my brother Christopher was ok. He was living in NY at the time. Yes, he was fine. He was getting married that weekend. His fiance had boarded a flight from NY. There were a few scary hours when nobody could get in touch with her. She finally got through to my dad. Her plane had been rerouted to Michigan somewhere but she was fine. Craig was out of town that day. I think he was in California for training. I finally got a hold of him. I believe the rest of training was cancelled. He was going to see when he could come home. I was scared to have him traveling. But eventually he made it home, safely. I remember I went to the grocery store a couple of days after this happened and there was such a weird feeling in the air. It was a somber feeling.

***

I know I should have turned the tv off and not watched as much coverage as I did. But I just couldn't help it. It brought back a lot of memories of how my mom had passed away. I couldn't help thinking of children that would be left without their mom. And their dad. I cried a lot. My brother ended up driving from LA to get his fiance. They didn't know when flights would be available again, so they decided to drive and make it to Boise in time for their wedding. They went ahead with the wedding which was a good thing for everybody involved.

***

Even though it has been 9 years, it's still hard to believe something like that could happen. Every year I think of those that lost their lives and those that serve our country. I have great respect for anybody that is in the military. What a sacrifice. Definitely grateful to live in such a great country.

***

Never forget.

a GREAT weekend!

We had an AMAZING weekend. It was Labor Day yesterday so just having an extra day off from school and work makes the weekend better in itself. Friday night Cooper went to the football game. Wildcats won!! Craig and I stayed home with the rest of the kids and had a movie night. We watched Diary of a Wimpy Kid. Cute and funny movie. Saturday we didn't do much. Cleaned around the house mostly. Sunday we went to church. I got released as YW secretary and put right back in the same calling. Marianne Warner was released and Jennifer Zimmerman was put in as president. The only change was the addition of Ann Hull as 1st counselor. I think the girls were happy with the change even though they will miss Marianne.

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Sunday evening we had Darren and Steph and the kids over for dinner. Grilled pork loin, funeral potatoes, green beans and orange rolls. Ohhh soooo good!!! Then we had Dajin, Brianne, Savannah and Kael spend the night. They had a lot of fun together. Monday morning we went to the scout breakfast fundraiser and then to the Louisburg parade. I think the kids had fun. We wished those in the parade had been a little more generous with the candy throwing, but I guess when you put together all the candy, there's more than enough!

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Craig took the kids into town to do some birthday shopping so I got a little peace and quiet.

Last night Craig and I went over to the Allen's to watch the Boise State/Virginia Tech football game. What a game!!! Boise ended up winning after making us sweat a little. They are a great couple to hang out with ;)

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Tonight I'm going to see "Rain" A Tribute to the Beatles at Starlight with Jill, Jen and Melanie. Looking forward to rocking out out to the Beatles :)

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Now that's my kind of weekend. Got a little work done but also got to play a little. Too bad every weekend can't be like that! I'll take what I can get though. Now that means that this is a short school and work week. Wooohoo!

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That's all for now.