Every once in a while I will be talking about something, more like venting, and I will tell the kids, "never..." and I lay upon them my new found wisdom. At least I think that's how I see things. A few days ago something like that happened and I said, "Life lesson!" and continued to tell them whatever it was that was bothering me. So I decided to write these down. They will be in no particular order. Some will not even make sense, it will be Sandra's crazy thoughts. Most will be based on what I've experienced in my life. But I hope the kids will get something out of them. So here it goes!
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NEVER be late to ANYTHING. It is rude. If you know for a fact that whoever you're meeting is going to be 15 minutes late, so you show up 10 minutes late, that still makes you late. Have the decency to show up on time.
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You don't have to say yes to every calling at church. I used to believe that. But as I've gotten older, I've come to see that there's only so much we can do. Sis Hinckley has a quote that I absolutely LOVE:
I especially like the part where she says to move along at a pace that is comfortable for us. I know my church leaders aren't aware of everything I'm going through so if a calling comes along that I just don't think I can handle I will not do it. Maybe I don't have enough faith that the Lord will help me fulfill that calling, but those are just my thoughts. If I know I can handle a smaller calling and do it well, I would feel right about doing that. With that being said, do a good job with your calling. Don't go overboard though. Less is more. Simple is best. Sometimes the mormon culture tends to go above and beyond when it's really not needed. Don't be a flake when it come to your calling. Follow through.
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You don't have to say yes to anything. This doesn't have anything to do with callings. And it's mostly advice for women. We get asked to help ALL the time. I have a hard time saying no. So I end up saying yes out of guilt. There are times when I know I should help a friend and I do my best. But if there are times when you just can't or are feeling overwhelmed, there's nothing wrong with saying no. No explanation necessary either. A lot of times I feel like I should have an excuse, but that's not true. "I can't" is enough.
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Be helpful. I know I just said, you don't have to say yes all the time, but when you can, be helpful. It doesn't have to be a big thing. When I had 2 little ones at Aldi one time, a lady offered to unload the groceries on the belt, bagged them and put them in the van for me. That meant so much and it didn't take too long. I promised myself that if I ever saw a mom that needed a hand, I would help. Just make sure you offer to help with the groceries or whatever the case may be. Sometimes people get leery if you ask to hold their kid or something!
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Have good manners. This can cover so many things, but the basics are good manners to have. Please and thank you ALL the time. Hold the door open for people. Let others at the store go ahead of you if you see they are holding a few items and you have a full cart.
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Don't marry anybody from Utah and don't ever live in Utah. The mormon culture is very different there. Craig and I hated living there. It's a beautiful state, but the members are their own breed. We felt like members took the church for granted. You're not special there if you're LDS. Enough said!
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Don't marry a girl that does photo shoots of herself a lot. A senior picture photo shoot, ok, I get that. More than that and they're just plain vain and full of themselves. You don't want a girl like that. I don't see this being an issue with boys, but just in case, girls, same thing goes for you. Don't marry a guy that's full of himself.
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When you get engaged and you go register at a store, do NOT register for extravagant things. When I registered, it was for dishes, towels, that sort of thing. We didn't even register for a vacuum! Now couples register for $600 vacuums, several sets of dishes, $400 sleeping bags, TVs. I think it's tacky. You should register for the basics and get the rest on your own. And do NOT set up one of these honey moon funds so people can contribute. Again, tacky!
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When eating out with people, ALWAYS wait until everybody has their food. Circumstances may be that they say go ahead, so then you do what you think is best. But if at all possible, wait. Chew with your mouth closed, put your napkin on your lap, be courteous to your server and tip well. Unless you get awful service. Then maybe you can speak to a manager.
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Take pictures with your kids. I have a handful of pictures with my mom and wish I had more. I grew up in a culture where pictures weren't as big of a deal as they are now though. But just make sure you hand somebody the camera every once in a while if you usually take them.
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Parent your kids! I see so many parents that are afraid to be a parent. They want to be a friend. Don't do that. Teach your kids how to behave for crying out loud. Teach them how to behave in public. If you're at a restaurant there is NO running around. You sit and eat. Just like at home. If you have a baby that starts fussing there's nothing wrong with taking them out of the chapel or store or restaurant. PLEASE do. It is disruptive to others and very rude. DON'T take babies to the movies. Unless it's a kids movie, and again, be prepared to take them out if they cry. But never take them to an adult movie. People pay good money and they don't want to hear a crying baby or whiny kid.
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